Alright folks, let’s talk about stepchildren. Now, I have a couple of stepkids which one of them recently tied the knot with their significant others, and let me tell you, they’re a bunch of Democrats. Yeah, the kind of people who think socialism is a great idea until they realize they have to pay for it.
One of them even married a doctor who’s pregnant. So now, not only do I have stepgrandkids, but I also have a doctor-in-law. I’m telling you, my family tree is starting to look like a chart of the federal government.
But here’s the thing, folks. These stepkids of mine, they don’t communicate with me anymore. Yeah, apparently, there was a verbal miscue that occurred, and now they’re giving me the silent treatment. Well, let me tell you, if silence is golden, then my stepkids are worth their weight in gold.
But seriously, folks, I don’t know what it is with these Democrats. They always want to talk about communication and understanding, but the minute you have a disagreement, they clam up faster than a turtle in a hailstorm. It’s like they want to have a conversation until they actually have to listen to someone who disagrees with them.
Wow, these stepkids of mine really have a diverse range of careers, don’t they? One’s a doctor, the other worked in a bio lab and now is trying to do web coding, and the third one makes pottery while the fourth tries to make sense out of everything. It’s like they all went to the school of “follow your dreams, even if they don’t make any sense.”
And don’t even get me started on the doctor spouse. I mean, I don’t want to brag, but I’ve been to a doctor before. It’s not that impressive. They just poke and prod you, tell you to eat more vegetables and send you on your way. I don’t see what all the fuss is about.
And then there’s the one who quit their job in the bio lab to become a web coder, only to find out that there’s no work for them in that field. So, what do they do? They start working for my wife’s practice, doing the same work that the other stepson got burnt out on. Talk about a coincidence.
And let’s not forget about the one who makes pottery. I mean, pottery, really? Is this the 1800s? I guess it’s better than being unemployed, but still, I’m pretty sure even our caveman ancestors had more exciting careers.
But you know what? I shouldn’t judge. Maybe they’re all just following their passions and doing what makes them happy. And hey, at least I’ve got some unique Christmas presents coming my way this year. So, I’ll take it. Thanks, stepkids!
But seriously, folks, being a step-parent is no joke. You never know what you’re gonna get with these kids and their crazy partners. All I can say is, thank god for alcohol.
Anyway, I’m not too worried about it. I figure if I just keep making jokes about them on stage, eventually they’ll come around. Or at least they’ll give me something to talk about in my next routine. Thanks, folks!
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